


Ain´t no sense in love

by Vallie_42



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-26 00:46:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1668557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vallie_42/pseuds/Vallie_42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reid and Luke are 18 years old and best friends, though their families and friends seem to think that there is more to them than meets the eye, which in no way helps matters when Luke and Reid can't see each other as more than just that. So, to dispel this myth, Luke comes up with a plan. Since they know each other so well, they each will find the other the PERFECT boyfriend of their choice! Sounds simple, right?! Nothing is simple in the quest for love as they both begin to realize that what they'd been looking for had been right in front of them the whole time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ain´t no sense in love

**Author's Note:**

> Written for lurebigbang 2011. Thanks to traciamc for making this happen! You´ve done an awesome job. Thanks to my beta ganeshalemming for never complaining about my total inability to keep the same tense for more than 500 words in a row and for generally making this so much better. Thanks to casaluna85 for the lovely art, I can´t tell you enough how much I like it! And thanks to bhumimak for providing the prompt and convincing (forcing) me to try and write again. Bhumi - this is for you because without LuRe I wouldn´t have met you and I´m so grateful I have you in my life. <3 I hope this is what you wanted.

Lily Snyder was having a surprisingly relaxing day. Holden and the youngest kids were at the farm and Luke was off somewhere with his boyfriend, which meant that Lily could have a lazy day on the sofa, reading romantic novels while eating chocolate or not doing anything at all. The only problem was that even the thought of doing nothing bored her. She supposed days like this should be cherished, because with four children and an overall time-consuming life she didn´t have much spare time, but the truth was she liked it that way. She loved having the kids and their friends around and she enjoyed seeing Luke and Reid together, because Reid made her son happy and that´s all that counted.

She still remembered the first time she met Reid. It was the same day she found out she was pregnant with Faith—and looking back on that day now, she wasn’t sure if that was why she still remembered that day perfectly or if it was because Reid had played such a big role in their lives and meeting him was significant, not only for Luke.

She had taken Luke to the park in their neighborhood which also had a nice playground and there were always a lot of kids. Luke was six years old and eager to find new friends to play with, and she knew how happy he would be when she told him he was going to be a big brother. She sat down on a bench and let Luke run off. Putting her hand protectively over her stomach, she thought of the new life growing inside her and how happy Holden was. She was a bit worried about whether he would treat this baby differently than Luke, seeing how this would be their first biological child together. She didn´t think he would, he had opened his arms and heart to Luke from the second he saw him, but she had learned the hard way not to take anything for granted.

Luke was such a sweet little boy with his messy blond hair and those big chocolate brown eyes, and she knew that everyone, herself included, was spoiling him rotten. It would probably do them all good to have another child to share their love for.

She was interrupted in her thoughts when Luke came running towards her with tears in his eyes.

“What´s the matter honey?” She asked while lifting him up in her arms.

“That boy,” he said and pointed towards the other end of the playground with his tiny finger, where a skinny boy sat on the edge of a sandbox, casually eating an apple, “said that he didn´t want to play with me ´cause playing is for children.” Luke rubbed his eyes. “But we are children, aren´t we Mommy?”

Lily had to bite her lip to hold back a smile. “Yes, sweetie you are. But maybe he just doesn´t like to play?”

Luke twisted his hands together and furrowed his small brows. “Why is he here then, if he don´t wanna play?”

“I don´t know, Luke. Maybe it´s better to just leave him alone. There are a lot of other kids here, I´m sure there are others who want to play with you.”

“I don´t think he likes being alone.”

After Luke had run off again she watched the other boy. He seemed to be the same age as Luke and had short curly hair in a dark red tone. He would have been cute if he hadn´t had such a sullen look on his face, as if he didn´t really want to be there at all. His clothes seemed to be at least one size too big and his jeans had a hole on his left knee. He didn´t seem to be interested in playing with the other children nor did he seem to have any adult there watching him.

She couldn´t help but smile when she saw Luke moving closer to the boy again. It was so typical of her son, wanting to be friends with everyone and never wanting to see anyone left out. She moved a bit closer so she could hear their conversation, just in case.

“Do you wanna build a sandcastle with me?” Luke spoke with his usual enthusiasm but Lily knew her son and recognized that the way he bit his lip was a sign of nervousness.

The other boy snorted. “I already told you, I don´t want to play with you.”

Luke´s bottom lip started to tremble and Lily was sure he was going to start crying, but somehow he managed to hold it back. “My dad says that building something isn´t the same as playing.”

The redhead simply snorted and continued eating his apple, but Lily noticed that he didn´t try to move somewhere else and he glanced at Luke every now and then. Luke continued talking and telling the boy about himself and the farm and his favorite toys, and even though the boy didn´t seem too interested he did answer when Luke asked what his name was.

“Give me that,” Reid suddenly snapped and took the shovel from Luke´s hand. “You´re doing it wrong, you have to dig deeper to get to the dark sand, it´s much easier to build with.” He dug down until he reached what he was looking for and formed it in his hands. “See?”

And from that day they had been inseparable. Reid was a strange boy and in the beginning Lily didn´t understand what Luke saw in him. He acted like a self-centered know-it-all most of the time and sometimes Lily thought he was a grown man trapped inside a little boy´s body. He was very intelligent and could read and write fluently before he even started school. He was also completely socially incompetent. Reid always said exactly what he thought, and even though Lily in no way encouraged lying she had to admit that sometimes it was preferable to Reid´s honesty. 

He lived with his parents not far from the Snyder farm, but Lily hardly ever met Mr. and Mrs. Oliver. Reid always came to the farm to play, though Reid preferred to call it hang out, on his bike. He never had birthday parties or invited Luke to his home. In the beginning Lily had tried to ask him about his parents but he usually just shrugged or didn´t answer at all. When she finally did meet them she came to the conclusion that they weren´t bad people, they just hadn´t got a clue what to do with a little boy. The only time they actually seemed to spend time with their son was when they drove him to whatever chess tournament he participated in. And Lily had no problem with chess, Reid seemed to enjoy it and he was obviously very good at it, she just thought that they treated him more like a prize pony than their actual son.

Reid never talked about it, at least not with Lily, so she had no idea what he actually thought, but when Reid and Luke were 12 years old, Luke asked if Reid could stay over a few nights. Apparently Reid had decided that he didn’t want to play chess anymore and refused to do it, which of course upset his parents so they had a huge fight and Reid wanted to get away for a few days. 

Three months later Mr. and Mrs. Oliver died in a car crash. Lily didn´t know what to expect from Reid afterwards but he acted exactly the same as always, maybe a bit quieter and a little withdrawn, but with Reid it was hard to be certain since he wasn´t very talkative to begin with. When Lily found out, her first thought was to take care of the boy and offer him a place to stay, and Holden had agreed. But before they could offer, it turned out that Reid´s Uncle Angus was going to take care of him. Lily was relieved, not because she didn´t want to take care of Reid herself, but because Reid had family who was there for him, and even if Lily could offer him a home she could never give him a family in the same way his Uncle could. Turned out she was wrong.

Angus wasn´t an evil person. He didn´t abuse Reid or hurt him in any other way, at least as far as Lily knew, but he just didn´t particularly care about him either. According to Luke, Uncle Angus thought that the only thing important in life was chess—and since Reid didn´t want to play anymore, he wasn´t important either.

Lily shook her head and decided she had wasted enough time going through old memories, it was almost time for dinner and hopefully the kids would be home soon.

 

It was a quiet dinner that night with only Lily, Luke and Reid, since Holden and the kids had decided to eat with Emma at the farm. Lily had to cook just as much as she usually would though, Reid loved to eat and she wonder for the millionth time where he put it. Maybe his weird Uncle didn´t give him enough to eat, she thought, feeling thankful that Reid had managed to get a job at Memorial over the summer so he could afford his own apartment. Even if it was only for two months she understood why he didn´t want to live with his Uncle a second longer than he had to.

“So, since Reid is moving tomorrow, I probably won’t be home until late,” Luke said, interrupting Lily´s train of thought.

“You´re not going with him?” Lily dropped another steak on Reid´s plate and he gave her what she assumed was a thankful nod.

“Well, I´m going to help him move all his stuff, but it´s not as if he has a lot of things. I´m just saying that I´ll probably be home late tomorrow.” Luke absentmindedly pushed his plate closer to Reid, who grabbed his remaining potatoes.

“That´s not what I meant sweetie. Your dad and I have been talking and if you want to live together over the summer it´s fine by us.” Well, Holden had suggested it, and even if Lily felt they were way too young to actually move in together, it was their last summer before college and they would probably want to spend as much time together as possible before college life began.

“What?” Luke asked, looking at her with his brows raised. 

“Well, you´ll probably spend all your time there anyway so why not move in so you have all your stuff there?”

“Mom, I can´t move in there, it´s a one-room apartment. I mean sure, I guess I´ll sleep over a few times, but I can´t stay on the couch a whole summer.”

Lily smiled. “Honey, we´re not expecting you to sleep on the couch.” Sure, Luke was only eighteen but it wasn’t like she was trying to kid herself that they weren’t having sex. That is, when she actually thought about it, which most of the time she tried hard not to. Eighteen or not, he was still her little boy.

Luke just stared at her, as if not really understanding what she meant. “Where should I sleep then?”

“In the bed.” When that didn´t get a response she clarified. “With Reid.”

Reid dropped his fork on his plate. The sharp noise made Lily jump, and when she looked at him she realized that he too was staring at her, which was odd seeing how Reid never did anything besides stuff his mouth until there was no food left. There was a strained silence where both boys stared at her like she´d lost her mind until Luke laughed nervously. “Why would I sleep in Reid´s bed?”

Okay, so she was going to have to spell it out. “Your father and I was young once too you know, we know that you´re having sex.” Lily felt her cheeks turning pink, because hello, this was awkward, but she tried to give them a comforting smile to show it was alright.

Luke opened and closed his mouth a few times and seemed to be on the verge of saying something when Reid started coughing violently. Luke handed him his own glass of water and slapped him absentmindedly on the back a few times.

“Mom, we´re not having sex,” Luke said when Reid seemed to be able to breathe again. He didn´t start eating again though, which was definitely something out of the ordinary.

“You´re not?”

“God mom, of course not,” Luke stated incredulously, scratching his neck which was a habitual thing he always did when he was nervous or embarrassed, Lily wasn´t really sure which it was now though. “That´s just wrong. Why would you even think that?”

“Honey,” Lily reached for Luke´s hand and he reluctantly gave it to her. “There´s nothing wrong when two people who love each other and have been together as long as you and Reid, have sex.” Lily noticed the confused look on both boys in front of her and started to wonder if she´d done something wrong to make Luke think sex wasn´t normal. She knew she hadn´t been a role-model when it came to relationships, her back and forth between Damian and Holden wasn´t what she wanted for any of her children, but she did hope they would understand that everything she´d done had been out of love. Whether it was the right thing to do or not, she still wasn’t sure of, but she´d always followed her heart and she wanted her children to do the same.

“Your father and I would be worried if you weren´t having sex,” she continued with what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

“Mom, we are not having sex, because we’re not together.” Luke spoke slowly and emphasized every word.

“You´re not?” Now it was Lily´s turn to look confused and it felt like she was missing something here because when did they break up? How could she not know that? “Since when?”

“Since always! For god’s sake mom, we´re just friends, we have never been anything but friends. ” Luke let go of her hand and reached for his water glass only to find it empty next to Reid´s.

“Well, except that one time when you wanted to…” Apparently Reid thought now was a good time to participate in the conversation, but thankfully Luke quickly interrupted him. Whatever he was about to say, Lily was sure it wasn´t something she would want to hear.

“Shut up Reid!” Luke slapped him on the arm which only made Reid smirk, but he finally went back to eating. At least that was something that resembled normalcy and right now Lily needed everything she could get. It felt like her whole world had been turned upside down.

“But, it´s always you and Reid. Everybody thinks you’re together.” Lily suddenly felt the urge to defend herself, which was ridiculous, but the whole situation was weird and frankly a bit embarrassing.

“But we´re not, okay. So can you drop the sex talk now please?” Luke picked up his fork again but since there was no food left on his plate he just sat there holding it.

Well, this is awkward, Lily thought while raising her own fork, not really noticing what was on it anymore.

 

Later that night when Holden was back home and they were getting ready for bed Lily told him what happened during dinner.

“So, I told Luke that he could move in with Reid over the summer, just like we decided, but he didn´t want to.”

“Why not?” Holden asked, while slipping into his pajama pants.

“Well, apparently they´re not together,” Lily said and climbed into bed.

“What? When did they break up?” Holden looked absolutely shocked and Lily couldn´t help but feel a bit relieved. Apparently she wasn´t the only one who had assumed wrong.

“Well, according to Luke, they never were together in the first place. They´re just friends.”

“They´re not?” Holden asked incredulously. “Are you sure they weren´t kidding with you?”

“Holden, I´m absolutely positive,” Lily said. “Luke acted like I was crazy for even thinking they were together.”

“I can´t believe this. Even a blind man can see that they love each other. Hell, that´s how we knew Luke was gay. Or at least thought we knew.” Holden climbed in beside her and wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

Holden was right though, they had found out Reid was gay when the boys were thirteen, and when Lily had gotten used to the thought she had just waited for Luke to come and tell them he was gay too. Looking back now it was quite funny, Lily had overheard a conversation between Luke, Reid and Katie by accident and that was the reason they knew about Reid.

Lily had been worried about him, his parents had been dead for almost a year and he never talked about it, nor did he say anything about his Uncle—so even though Lily normally was all about privacy she had felt that the only way to get some information was to eavesdrop. She wasn´t proud of it, but at the time she had been desperate. She wasn´t prepared for what she was about to hear though. 

Luke, Reid and Katie had been working on some assignment for school at the farm and Lily had assisted with hot chocolate and cookies. When she had been about to walk out with another plate of Reid´s favorite chocolate chip cookies she had noticed that the conversation had turned from school to something completely different.

“Maddie said that she was going to marry Casey when we´re older,” Luke said.

“I´m never going to get married,” Reid stated.

“C’mon Reid, I´m sure even you can find a girl who puts up with you. Katie definitely likes you,” Luke teased.

“I do not!” Katie squealed and slapped Luke on the arm, but her cheeks turned slightly pink and Lily smiled because everyone knew that Katie was in love with Reid.

Reid snorted. “Yes, you do Katie, you like every guy you see. But even if I were to get married, I wouldn´t marry a girl.”

“What do you mean, Reid?” Luke asked and frowned.

“I mean that I don´t like girls that way.”

“What way?” Luke looked as confused as Lily was feeling.

“Christ Luke, which way do you think?” Reid seemed to be a bit embarrassed but determined all the same, and suddenly Lily understood exactly what he meant.

“You mean you´re gay?” Katie asked and looked disappointed.

“Wow, 10 points to Gryffindor!” Reid said mockingly. “Yes, I am gay, Katie.” He sounded just as self-assured as always but he looked at Luke when he answered and his left hand was fidgeting on his thigh, which Lily knew was one of the few nervous tics Reid had.

“Well, that´s typical,” Katie huffed.

“You mean… you like guys?” Luke seemed to be having a hard time understanding what Reid meant and Lily was right there with him. She always had this picture in her head of what a gay man would look like and Reid was definitely not the type. And he was only thirteen years old, how could he possibly know what he wanted?

“That´s usually what the term gay means, Luke.”

“Why didn´t you tell me?”

“I´m telling you now.”

“Oh my god, I have a gay best friend.” Katie seemed to have gotten over her disappointment and hugged Reid enthusiastically. ”Reid, this is awesome!”

Lily decided she had heard enough and walked back to the kitchen, so she had no idea what Luke said after that. They didn´t talk about it until Luke was sixteen and at that time they were already certain that Luke and Reid were together, so it didn´t exactly come as a shock that Luke was gay too.

“Do you think we would have treated Luke differently if it wasn´t for Reid?” Lily asked and turned around to face Holden. “I mean, when he came out to us?”

“I don´t know.” Holden sighed. “I think I always knew he was different and when you told me about Reid, it all seemed to fall into place.”

Lily nodded because she knew what he meant. Luke had always been different compared to other boys. She only hoped that they would have been just as accepting if it hadn’t been for Reid.

“I can´t believe that they´re not together though,” Holden said.

“I know, honey. Hopefully they´ll realize how perfect they are together eventually,” Lily said and turned her head up for a kiss. “Right now though, I don´t want to think about any of our kids.”

“Oh, I can work with that,” Holden answered and Lily felt his smile against her lips.

 

Casey liked to think of himself as the average, hot straight guy in their friends’ circle for a couple of different reasons. Firstly, since both Reid and Luke were gay he found it necessary to point out that he, in fact, was not. He didn´t really care what other people thought, but when it came to the girls he wanted to be sure that no one missed the fact that he was all kinds of available and interested. Secondly, while neither Reid nor Luke were in any way bad looking (and Casey was secure enough in his sexuality to admit that both of them were pretty hot) he still thought that his own blond hair and cheeky smile won him the first place. Thirdly, no one had ever accused Casey of being the sharpest tool in the box but people who thought he wasn´t intelligent were gravely mistaken. Sure, he wasn´t a genius like Reid or good with words like Luke, and he knew he sometimes came off as a bit slow, but he wasn´t an idiot. Reid had once called him a classic blonde girl but Reid insulted everyone on a regular basis so he didn´t really care about that.

So since it was Luke and Reid he compared himself with, he had to admit that he was pretty average.

When it came to feelings though, Casey realized he was way ahead of them.

He and Luke had been helping Reid move his things to his new apartment, which wasn´t so much of an apartment as a small cubby-hole, but at least, thanks to him, it now contained a bed, a couch, a desk and a TV. All the necessities a guy could need. Casey had never been in Reid´s room at his Uncle’s before and had been surprised by the lack of normal teenager stuff. Sure, Reid wasn´t particularly normal, but he had expected Reid to at least have some posters on the wall or a friggin´ CD-player or something but no, nothing. The only poster Reid did have was one with the periodic table and that was just depressing.

The apartment turned out pretty nice though, even if it was almost claustrophobically small. Casey suddenly wished that he also had his own place, because trying to get laid when you still lived with your parents brought so much unnecessary work.

“Dude,” he said and turned to Reid, because he just got the most awesome idea. “I was thinking that maybe you wanted to, you know, share this place?”

“Share?”

Casey wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, which sadly only earned him a glare from Reid.

“Casey, you´re not having sex in my bed. Or on my couch. That´s disgusting on so many levels that I don´t even know where to begin.”

Right, Reid´s irrational fear of germs, he had forgotten about that. He often wondered how Reid managed to have any sex at all but quickly decided that wasn´t a subject he wanted to think too much about. “You´re no fun.”

“Hey, speaking about sex, Casey you have no idea what my mom did yesterday, ”Luke said and straightened up a little on the couch. “Man, it was so embarrassing.” 

“Did she walk around in her underwear?” Casey asked and perked up, because mom or not, there was no denying that Mrs. Snyder was hot.

“Dude, it´s my mom, don´t even go there,” Luke said and shook his head as if trying to get rid of that mental picture before he continued. “Anyway, she asked if I wasn´t going to move in here, since we obviously wanted to spend the summer having sex.”

“Dude, your mom said that?” Casey was amazed. Not that he wanted to talk about sex with his parents, god no, but that Luke´s mom actually had said that. If even Luke´s parents assumed they were together, why weren´t they?

“I know right?” Luke said incredulously. “Can you believe that she actually thought Reid and I were together?”

“Uhm, well yeah,” Casey admitted. “Actually I can.”

“What?” Reid and Luke asked simultaneously.

“Seriously guys.” Casey rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. Sometimes his friends were idiots. “You two are always together, and you´re both gay. It´s not exactly a long shot to assume that there is something more going on than just friendship. I mean, neither one of you has ever even been in a relationship.” Reid opened his mouth to interrupt him but Casey continued. “I don´t count the guys you usually hook up with, Reid, or that weird guy you dated last summer when Reid was away, Luke. I mean a real relationship with someone you´re in love with.”

“I have no interest in having a relationship with anyone,” Reid said firmly.

“Well, you don´t have to worry about that,” Casey said smugly, “everyone assumes you are in one already.” Reid frowned and Casey had to hide his smile because if wasn´t often he got the last word when it came to discussions with Reid.

“Are you serious?” Luke asked disbelievingly.

“Luke! Why do you think you never get asked out on any dates? Everybody assumes the two of you are together, and that won´t change unless you start acting differently.” Okay, so Casey had known that Reid was emotionally retarded but he had to admit that he was kind of disappointed to realize that Luke was just as bad.

“Okay, let´s make a pact then,” Luke declared excitedly after an awkward moment of silence.

Reid rolled his eyes. “Luke, you make it sound like we´re in that apple pie movie were all the guys are trying to get laid before prom. It´s ridiculous and besides, you´re the only virgin here.”

“American Pie.” Casey corrected him, while silently wondering what on earth Luke had bribed Reid with to make him watch a chick flick. As usual though, no one paid him any attention.

“Fine,” Luke huffed, “let´s make a deal then. I find the perfect boyfriend for you and you´ll do the same for me.”

“Why?”

“Because since I know everything about you, who could be better suited to find the guy of your dreams than me? And same goes for me with you of course.”

“No, I meant: who said I wanted a boyfriend in the first place?” Reid protested.

“I did,” Luke said. “Stop being so grumpy.”

“Luke. No.”

“C’mon Reid. It´s going to be fun, I promise.”

“I said no.”

Casey often thought that watching Luke and Reid bickering was like watching a game of tennis, with Luke as Roger Federer and Reid as Robin Söderling. No matter how many sets Söderling managed to win, Federer was always the one walking home with the title. Today wasn´t going to be any different and besides, Casey was totally on Luke´s side with this. He still thought they should, like, open their eyes and realize they were in love with each other, but in the meantime it would be hilarious to watch Reid turn down every guy Luke wanted him to date.

“Please Reid,” Luke begged and leaned his head on Reid´s shoulder. “Please, please, please, please…”

Reid closed his eyes and sighed. “I hate you.”

‘Yup,’ Casey thought, ‘Federer strikes again.’

 

It wasn’t long before Casey changed his mind because this? This was definitely not hilarious. For reasons unknown Luke had decided that he needed Casey´s help with making some idiotic list of which features Reid wanted in his dream guy, while Reid and Katie were doing the same in another room. Casey had no idea what the point of all this was but Luke insisted that it was very important. So far, they had two items on the list. They guy needed to be hot and he should like to play chess. Pretty pathetic seeing how they´d spent over an hour trying to come up with something.

“Maybe we could write that he should like biology and medicine or something?” Luke sounded just as uncertain as Casey felt and maybe he should try and help, but dammit, this wasn´t even supposed to be his problem. “And Reid likes to eat, we could add that the guy should like food, or maybe even that he should like to cook?” Luke continued when he didn´t get any response and Casey should feel sorry for him, he really should, but this, this was ridiculous.

“So basically you think Reid´s dream guy is some lame-ass dude who likes to cook, reads textbooks and plays chess?” Casey summarized when it was clear that Luke couldn´t come up with anything else. “You do realize that there isn´t a guy under 40 that fits that description?”

“Well, feel free to come up with something better then,” Luke said, scratching out what he´d written so far and tossing the pencil at Casey.

“No way dude, this was your idea so you get to write it,” Casey said with a laugh, because Luke was entertaining when he got annoyed. “I just don´t understand why you need to make a stupid list anyway. I mean, it´s not like Reid actually cares about this.” Casey had no idea how Luke had managed to convince Reid to participate in doing this in the first place. Not even Luke´s best puppy-dog eyes could have made him do something this stupid.

“I know he doesn´t, but it´s important to me, okay?” Luke sounded so resigned that Casey decided to stop mocking and take pity on him instead.

“Look, why don´t we go and see how far Reid and Katie have gotten with their list?” Casey suggested. “That way we´ll know how much more work we need to do on ours?” Great, he had said our list which meant that now he was involved in this shit and there was no escape. Oh well, at least Luke looked happier.

“You´re right, I bet they haven´t come up with anything either.” Luke jumped up from where he had been sitting on the floor and held out his hand to help Casey up. They walked together down the stairs only to find Reid and Katie sprawled out on the sofa in front of the TV, watching a re-run of Baywatch and doing everything but thinking of Luke´s boyfriend-to-be.

“Reid, what the hell are you doing? You´re supposed to be writing a list, not watch half-naked men!” Luke sounded genuinely upset and Casey thought that was weird, because surely Luke should have known that Reid wouldn´t actually participate in the whole writing a list business. Well, maybe he did because he slapped Reid rather hard on the chest when he didn´t answer.

“Ouch, Luke. That actually hurt.” Reid rubbed his chest and grimaced. “And for the record, I finished your list hours ago.” He reached over to the table, grabbed the paper lying there and shoved it at Luke. “Here.”

Casey was impressed. He hadn´t thought Reid would actually follow through, but it was probably Katie who did all the work. After all, she was a girl and girls knew that kind of stuff. Luke unfolded the paper and Casey leaned over his shoulder so he could read what it said. There was only one word there, however: `Roth.´

“Is this some kind of joke?” Luke asked in his best Damian Grimaldi voice, and if Casey was Reid he would probably freak out right now. Reid just looked at Luke, raised his eyebrows and inhaled deeply.

“No. You wanted a date, I got you a date,” Reid answered smugly. “Roth is in Katie´s history class, and he has agreed to meet up with you for coffee tomorrow.”

“What?” Luke looked absolutely mortified and Casey secretly felt pleased. This was what he considered fun.

“He´s really nice and handsome, Luke. I´m absolutely sure you´ll like him,” Katie said.

“You´re serious? I have a date tomorrow?” When Katie nodded Luke lost all the color in his face. “I need to sit down.”

“Hey, there´s no need to be nervous! He really is an awesome guy, and I´m almost certain he likes you already.” Katie scooted closer to Luke and wrapped her arm around him.

“And maybe this means you´ll finally meet someone you can give up your virginity to. You´re clinging on to it like it´s your goddamn virtue.”

“Very funny, Reid.” Luke frowned at him but he seemed to have gotten some color back on his cheeks.

“Please don´t tell me you expect your first time to be this romantic moment with soft music, candlelight and rose petals all over the bed?” Reid had a disgusted look on his face and Casey had to agree, not that he had anything against that sort of thing but they were dudes and dudes didn´t need that. They were only props to make it easier to convince a girl that you were actually worth sleeping with. And since Luke wasn´t gonna sleep with a girl, or was a girl himself for that matter, they shouldn´t be necessary.

“Well, it´s better than doing it in the restroom of some club.”

“How can you be so sure when you haven´t tried any of it?” Personally, Casey thought sex was awesome no matter where you did it, as long as you actually, you know, did it.

“Shut up, Casey, you´re supposed to be on my side,” Luke said and laughed.

“Sorry dude, but I´m with Reid on this one.”

“Well, I agree with you, Luke. Your first time should be really special and romantic and it should be with someone you love.” Katie sighed and Casey could almost swear that he saw little pink hearts in her eyes.

“Well, of course you girls would stick together on this one,” Reid smirked but it quickly turned in to a laugh when a pillow hit him in the head. “Now, can we please eat something?”

 

Luke was extremely nervous when he entered the café where he was supposed to meet Roth. He had been trying on at least ten different outfits before finally settling on his nicest jeans, which made his ass look really good according to Reid, and a dark blue button-down shirt. They were only meeting up for a coffee so he didn´t want to dress up too much.

On the way over he´d been freaking out with worry that it might have been a very cruel joke, so he was relieved to see that Roth was actually sitting there waiting for him. He walked over to the booth and said an awkward hello before sitting down. Thankfully it turned out that Roth wasn´t only incredibly good looking, but also really nice with a wicked sense of humor. Luke enjoyed spending time with him a lot more than he expected, so when Roth asked if he maybe wanted to meet up again soon and watch a movie or something, Luke eagerly agreed. They parted with a hug and a promise of seeing each other the next day. Luke drove straight home and went to his room, threw himself on the bed and called Reid.

Reid picked up on the first ring, but before he had a chance to say anything, Luke started talking.

“You were right.”

Reid snorted. “Tell me something I didn´t know. But since I´m always right, could you be a little more specific?”

“Shut up, Reid,” Luke said, that being his usual response to displays of Reid´s gigantic ego. “Well, Roth? He´s amazing!”

“Ha! I told you you´d like him,” Reid said, sounding far too pleased with himself.

“I´ve already told you you were right, what more do you want?” Luke said and they both laughed. “Seriously though Reid, he´s really great. It felt like we could talk about everything and he was really interested in what I had to say. And he´s, you know, really handsome which doesn´t particularly hurt either and he laughs at my lame attempts to joke. We´re going out again tomorrow.”

“Well, all that sounds sickeningly sweet but weren´t we supposed to meet up here tomorrow night? You and me, Casey and Katie, the Xbox? Any of that sound familiar?”

“Fuck!” Luke closed his eyes and smacked his palm against his forehead. “I´m really sorry man, I totally forgot. But hey, it´s my first date in ages and the four of us always hang out so you know…” Apparently Reid didn´t know, because he didn´t say that of course Luke should go on a date. In fact, he didn´t say anything.

“Reid? I could come over after the movie maybe?”

“Right. Don´t bother, Luke. I got to go. Have a nice date tomorrow,” Reid said in a weird toneless voice.

“What? C´mon Reid…” Luke checked his phone and realized that Reid had disconnected the call. “Fuck!”

He tossed the phone on the bedside table and folded his arms behind his head. He didn´t feel as happy about Roth anymore, and what the fuck was wrong with Reid? Sure, Luke had to cancel something they´d planned but c´mon, they were going to order pizza and play Xbox all night and they always did that. Okay, so it was usually a lot of fun but Luke had a date with a really awesome guy and he wasn´t going to turn that down. Reid acted like a jealous boyfriend or his mother and that was just ridiculous, he probably had a bad day or something and took it out on Luke. Feeling a little bit better about it all, Luke closed his eyes and fell asleep smiling.

 

Spending time with Roth was really nice. They went on five more dates the next two weeks and Luke really liked him. Roth and Reid were each other’s exact opposite, and it was kind of nice to hang out with someone who didn´t consider himself god´s gift to humanity and never failed to mention it ten times a day.

Roth´s biggest interest seemed to be movies, and sometimes it felt like he´d seen every movie ever made. Luke felt a bit left out when they met up with Roth´s equally knowledgeable friends and they discussed plots and actors and sometimes even directors and producers, and Luke had no idea who M. Night Shyamalan was. It wasn’t like he and his friends didn´t enjoy a good film every now and then, because they did, they just never cared about the people behind the camera. The only producer Luke knew of was Steven Spielberg, but according to Roth, Spielberg was terrible when compared to masters like David Lynch, so it would be best if Luke didn´t talk about him with Roth´s friends.

Luke went home and googled David Lynch and was rather pleased to see that he actually knew one of the works Lynch had created. He, Katie and Reid had watched both seasons of Twin Peaks a few years ago and Luke couldn´t help but smile when he remembered Reid´s not-so-secret crush on Agent Cooper. Reid had acted like the FBI agent was god´s gift to gay men, and had been rather upset when Luke had shared his own opinion that the dude wasn´t ugly for an old guy. That had led to an hour-long, somewhat heated discussion about when it was alright to call someone old.

Anyway, Twin Peaks was indeed not bad at all, but the ending had sucked major ass and ruined the whole series completely for Luke. He decided not to mention that to Roth, and the next time they met Roth´s friends and discussed the awesomeness of Mr. Lynch, Luke used words like compelling, stunning and mastermind. He felt like a fake afterwards but Roth seemed happy so Luke guessed that was all that mattered.

Luke brought Roth over to Reid’s twice, and both times consisted of an awkward silence that Luke desperately tried to fill. The first time Reid tried his best to act somewhat civil, which he wasn´t very good at but Luke gave him points for trying, and to Luke´s surprise it was Roth who behaved badly. He glared at Reid when he thought Luke didn´t see it, and the few times Reid actually tried to ask him something he never elaborated the answer or tried to keep the conversation going. They left within an hour and had their first fight on the way back to Luke´s. Roth apologized for being jealous. At first Luke didn´t understand what he meant but Roth, like everyone else, had assumed that Reid and Luke had recently broken up, and he wasn´t interested in spending time with his boyfriend´s ex. Luke was so happy that Roth called him his boyfriend that he forgave him instantly.

The damage was already done though.

Next time they met Reid, Roth did his best to try and impress him, but Reid clearly wasn´t interested. No matter how hard Luke tried or how many annoyed glares he shot him, Reid acted like his old grumpy self, and Luke decided it was probably better if they didn´t hang out again just the three of them. Casey and Katie were of course much easier, but for some reason they didn´t go past politeness to actual friendliness and Luke couldn´t understand why. He figured it would change when they got to know Roth better, but since Roth felt that they didn’t really like him, he preferred not to spend time with them, which meant that Luke didn´t really get to spend any time with his friends either.

It felt weird not to see Reid every day as he usually did but Luke didn´t know what else to do. He finally had his first boyfriend and he knew he had to do anything to make it work with Roth, even if that meant he didn´t get to see his friends, so as the weeks went by he found himself getting used to it.

It was great to have someone to walk across town with while holding hands, and he couldn´t get enough of kissing Roth. Before they met Luke had only kissed three people, one of them a girl, so he wasn´t exactly experienced, and with none of them had he had anything close to a real relationship.

Luke and Roth didn´t have sex though. They had long make-out sessions and there were regular hand jobs and a few awkward attempts at a blow job, which Luke had to admit none of them were very good at, but they didn´t go further. It wasn’t that Luke didn´t want to, it just didn´t feel right, and he knew that Roth was disappointed but he didn´t know what to do about it. He was prepared to do almost anything for his boyfriend, but having sex was something really special in his mind and he wanted to wait just a little while longer. He could only hope that Roth would understand that.

So maybe things weren´t perfect but Luke never expected them to be and he was happy, he really was.

 

"Can you come over today?" Roth asked and Luke smiled into the phone.

“I would love to, but I kind of promised Casey that I´d go over to Reid´s today,” he said apologetically.

“You sure? I suppose I can´t tempt you with horseback riding and a picnic?”

“Aww,“ Luke said and completely melted. Roth did the most romantic things for him and he really shouldn´t break a promise again, but how could he not? “Okay, sure. I´ll be there in an hour.”

He sent a text to Casey explaining that something came up and he´d have to take a rain check. Then he shut off his phone and drove over to Roth.

They had an incredible day and when Luke arrived back home his lips were sore from kissing and his skin slightly tanned. He turned his phone back on and looked in surprise at all the messages and missed calls rushing in. He was prepared for Casey being upset, but not for him to totally flood him with texts and calls. He read the first one.

What do you mean something came up? You´re kidding right?

What the fuck Luke? You were supposed to be here like an hour ago.

Luke thought Casey was seriously overreacting until he read the last text.

Dude, I can´t believe you’d rather hang out with your boyfriend than celebrate your best friend´s birthday. That´s really low man. 

Fuck! He had forgotten Reid´s birthday and the surprise party that he, Casey and Katie planned months ago. He glanced at his alarm clock and was shocked to see that it was 9:30 PM already. He scrolled through his contacts and his thumb hovered above Reid´s name, but he decided against it and cowardly dialed another number. Casey didn´t pick up until Luke was prepared to give up, and the disapproving tone of his voice when he said hello didn´t bode well.

“Casey, I´m so sorry man! I can´t believe I forgot Reid´s birthday.” Luke took a deep breath and when Casey didn´t answer he added “Is he pissed?”

“You forgot, Luke? Come on, really? That´s the best you can come up with?”

“I swear man, I completely forgot about it. You know I would never miss it if I didn´t.”

There was a long pause and Luke started to feel even worse. Casey wasn´t the kind of person who got upset easily and when he did, it always blew over really fast. So when he didn´t call Luke a fucking idiot in his usual annoyed but caring voice, Luke knew he was in trouble.

“I don´t know, Luke. I´ve hardly seen you the last few weeks and when you do come over you always bring your boyfriend. We´ve been friends forever, you can´t spend a few hours with us without him?”

Luke started to feel pretty annoyed. Couldn’t they be happy for him that he finally met someone, instead of making him feel bad about it? “Are you jealous Case?” he asked mockingly, since apparently he was one of those people who chose offence as his best defense.

“Fuck you Luke, I´m not the one who missed my best friend´s birthday,” Casey replied, and all the anger washed off, because he was right. Luke did mess up and he had no idea how to fix it.

“How was the party?” he asked. Hopefully it wasn´t as bad as he suspected.

“What party? You were the one who was supposed to invite people. It was me, Katie and that weird Noah guy from school. Not exactly what I would call fun. Reid kicked us out after an hour.”

“Fuck, I´m so sorry.” Luke closed his eyes and felt waves of guilt rush over him. He and Reid had always celebrated their birthdays together and no matter how amazing his day with Roth had been, he would give anything to be able to turn back time and change today.

“It´s not me you should be saying that to.”

“I know,” Luke sighed. “How mad is he?”

“Do you really need to ask? He thought I was kidding when I said you had other plans.”

“Fuck,” Luke said again, but straightened up when an idea came to him. “I´m going over there, I bought his present months ago so at least I have that.”

“Well, good luck,” Casey said. “Don´t expect too much though, you know how Reid is.” They hung up and Luke walked back out to his car.

The thing was, Luke didn´t really know what it felt like when Reid was mad at you, because Reid had never been mad at Luke. Sure, they fought constantly, but it was more like old married couple bickering, at least that´s what Katie called it—not real fights.

Reid had been away the whole of last summer without even telling Luke that he was leaving. Luke had been furious and decided that he would never speak to Reid again, but when Reid came back, looking thinner and paler than ever, and told Luke he was sorry, Luke found it hard to stay mad. This though, this was something else and he had no idea how Reid would react when he showed up. What Casey had said was true, he had been neglecting his friends in favor of Roth and he knew that it was a shitty thing to do. When he imagined Reid doing something similar to him, he knew that he would have been pissed. Although, Reid would most likely never get a boyfriend. And even though Luke knew it was wrong, he couldn´t help but feel a weird sense of relief over that. Thankfully he arrived at Reid´s at that moment so he didn´t have to examine that thought anymore.

He parked the car outside the apartment complex, walked up to Reid´s door and knocked. He expected Reid not to open or at least make Luke work for it, but he answered the door almost immediately.

“Mr. Snyder, what a surprise,” he said and smiled, but it wasn’t a very welcoming smile. “What can I do for you?”

“Cut the crap, Reid, and let me in so I can explain.”

Reid only raised an eyebrow and gave him that patented Reid Oliver stare of doom. For the first time in his life, Luke discovered how uncomfortable it actually felt when you were the recipient of it.

“Reid, c´mon. Please?”

Luke gave him his best pleading look and Reid rolled his eyes, but took a step back and let Luke walk past him inside.

“So…” Luke said and rubbed his neck awkwardly, while glancing around the neatly tidied room, because now that he was here he had no idea what to actually say. “Well, happy birthday,” his mouth decided on, and as if that wasn´t stupid enough he realized that he’d forgotten the present.

“Thank you.”

“Reid, man, I´m really sorry…” Luke began, but Reid cut him off.

“It´s fine, Luke. No big deal.” He smiled and for a second Luke almost believed him. Until he continued, “Was there something else you wanted, because I´m kind of in the middle of something here.” And if that wasn´t a brush-off, Luke couldn´t say what was.

“In the middle of what?” Luke asked and smiled tentatively, because it didn´t look like Reid was doing anything in particular.

“It doesn´t really concern you, okay?” Reid stated in the same monotone voice. If it wasn´t for his left hand fidgeting on his thigh, Luke would think he was totally unaffected.

“Look Reid, I know I messed up, and I understand that you´re angry, but can we please talk about it?” Luke took a few steps towards Reid and reached out to touch Reid´s shoulder, but the other man took a few hasty steps back and Luke dropped his arm.

“Luke, I said it wasn´t a big deal. There´s nothing to talk about.”

“Don´t give me that shit, I´m your best friend and I know you´re mad at me. Just tell me how much I suck and what I can do to make it better.”

“Why do you always assume you know everything about me?” Reid took two steps forward and now his face and voice was anything but motionless. “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I´ve had it with you telling me how I should feel and act?”

“Reid, I… I never meant to…” Luke had no idea what to say, because this was not what he expected and he couldn´t tell if Reid was honest or if he was just lashing out because he’d been hurt.

“We´ve been friends for a really long time, Luke, and maybe it´s time to move on now. I got accepted to Harvard and I´m leaving at the end of the summer. I think it would be better if we ended this now.” Reid walked over to the couch and dismissively sat down. Luke had no idea what to say because—what the fuck was happening?

“What do you mean?” he managed to get out. All he could think was, please don´t let this be what I think it is.

“Jesus Luke, do I have to spell it out for you? I don´t need you anymore, okay? It was fun while it lasted but I´m eighteen now and I´m off to Harvard and I can´t hang out with some loser I´ve known my whole life.”

“You don´t mean that.”

“Yes, I do. I wasn´t going to say anything until I moved but I figured that since you didn´t care enough to come celebrate my birthday you felt the same. Besides, I´m going to meet a lot of new people next year so I probably wouldn´t have time for you anyway.” Reid reached for the remote control and turned up the volume on the TV. Luke guessed that was his cue to leave, but he wasn´t done yet. He was finally starting to get angry.

“Well, if that´s how you feel I guess I can´t force you to change your mind.” He walked the few steps towards the door and reached for the handle, but before he opened it he turned back. “It´s not like anyone would want to be your friend anyway. You never had any social skills whatsoever, and ever since your parents died you´ve been even weirder and hard to deal with.” Even before he finished the sentence he knew he had gone too far, and he could feel the tension radiating from Reid´s body.

“Fuck off, Luke.”

“I´m sorry, I shouldn´t…”

“I said fuck off.” Reid stood up, walked over to the door and opened it. ”Seriously Luke, just leave.” 

Luke opened his mouth to argue, but one look at Reid´s closed-off face told him it was pointless. He knew Reid well enough to know that no matter what he said right now it wouldn´t change a thing, so he let himself be pushed outside and heard the door slam closed behind him. He stood there for almost ten minutes before he finally walked back to his car and drove home. 

 

Luke called at least three times a day the following days and sent multiple texts, but Reid didn´t answer and deleted the texts without reading them. It wasn’t that he was upset with Luke because of what he said, Reid knew that he wasn´t the easiest person to get along with and that people for some reason didn´t always respond well to brutal honesty, but he didn´t really care about it. If he had to step on a few toes to get where he wanted in life, so be it. Being nice wasn´t a skill he considered important to master.

And it was true that he had gotten worse since his parents died, not that they were particularly inspiring role models but at least they hadn´t been as bad as his Uncle.

So he wasn´t exactly upset that Luke had said what he said even if, and he could at least admit it to himself, it did hurt a bit to hear it from someone who knew him that well, but he wasn´t one to dwell on things said in the heat of the moment. He said some hurtful things too and he knew Luke hadn´t really meant it. The number of calls and texts proved that, not to mention the look on Luke´s face when he realized what he said.

No, the reason why he didn´t want to talk to Luke was really a number of different things. What he said to Luke wasn´t completely wrong, he had been accepted to Harvard and there was no way in hell he was turning that down, he couldn´t wait to get away from this god-awful town and all the memories it held. And Harvard Medical School was the best there was and since he wanted to be the best neurosurgeon in the world, he wouldn’t settle for less. He had known for a few weeks that he got accepted but he hadn´t told anyone, since he had wanted to figure out a way that he and Luke could have moved there together. He had been looking up different writing programs for Luke and found one he thought Luke would like and applied for it in Luke´s name. That way they could go together and rent an apartment or something, because Reid wasn´t in any way interested in living in a dorm.

Then Luke had gotten that idiotic idea of them finding dates for each other and Reid hadn´t wanted to disappoint him so he made Katie find a suitable guy for Luke. It had worked out much better than he anticipated, he had been prepared for Luke pestering him about the fact that he wasn´t dating anyone, but instead Luke had seemed to forget that Reid even existed.

That had not been according to plan and Reid never expected that a guy would come between them. In a not fun, sexual way that is.

The last few weeks he´d hardly seen Luke and when he did he was always dragging that sleaze ball with him. Reid had no idea what Luke saw in him. And what kind of name was Roth anyway? So Reid had to rethink this whole moving together plan, since he hadn´t been sure if Luke would want that or if he would rather stay in this pathetic excuse for a town and be the golden gay couple with his boring boyfriend. He had planned to talk about it with Luke on his birthday since that at least was one day he was certain he would see Luke. So when Casey told him that Luke had other plans that didn´t involve celebrating his birthday, Reid knew that they wouldn´t be moving anywhere together and decided that it was time for him to move on too. The sooner he and Luke went their separate ways, the better, and Luke would understand and agree to that eventually. And besides, what the hell had he been thinking? It was a childish and ridiculous idea and Reid Oliver didn´t do either.

His phone rang again.

“Reid, aren´t you at least going to talk to him?” Katie´s voice was mildly lecturing and Reid knew it wouldn´t take long before she entered full scolding mode if he didn´t stop her. Not that whatever she said would make a difference to him but it would be boring to have to pretend to listen to it.

“Nope.” He used his best dismissing tone but as expected it didn´t work on her.

“Reid, I really think—“

“I´m serious, Katie. Not now.” He met her gaze and held it, and whatever it was she saw in his eyes must have worked in his favor because she sighed and nodded.

“Fine, I´ll let you off the hook for now if you´ll go out with me tonight.”

“Go out where? I´m not interested in going to any of your weed-smoking friends.” He glared suspiciously at her but they both knew that he wasn´t saying no.

“You´ll see!” Katie took his hand and dragged him up off the couch. “Now, you´ll get your cute butt in the shower and meanwhile I´ll look in that sorry excuse for a wardrobe you have and see if I can find anything remotely hot for you to wear.”

Reid figured it said a lot about how down he felt that he actually did as he was told.

 

The music was insanely loud and the house filled with people in various states of inebriation, and Reid was instantly reminded of why he never went to parties like this one. He recognized most of the crowd from school but there wasn´t really anyone he felt interested in talking to. Katie brought him a beer and told him to sit down and try not to scare people away before she disappeared off somewhere. Reid contemplated if he should leave or not, but there was free beer so he might as well stay and finish it up before going home to his own beer-free apartment.

One beer turned into four and he was surprised to realize that it wasn´t as bad as he had thought it would be. The owner of the house turned out to be some guy from Reid´s math class, who wasn´t a complete idiot, even if he wasn´t interesting enough for Reid to actually remember his name. Not very surprising though since so few people were.

There was a really good-looking guy standing a few feet away, talking to some other guys, and he kept glancing towards Reid. It wasn´t anyone he recognized from school, but he seemed to be a few years older so he probably didn´t go there. He was hot though, and exactly the type Reid liked. Tall, blond and with a nice body. It had been a while since he´d been with someone. Luke seemed to think that he slept with a new guy every week, but that was hardly the truth. There weren´t enough gay guys in this little town to achieve that, and to be honest he did prefer to actually be able to hold a somewhat interesting conversation with a guy before he slept with him, and most guys didn´t measure up. Besides, he had a fully functional right hand. Tonight though, he figured he could be interested in something more than that.

“Hey.” Reid looked up and was pleased to see that the blond guy had finally decided to come over. “Can I sit down?”

“Sure.” Reid moved over to leave room for the other guy who, to Reid´s delight, looked even better close up.

He sat down and held out his hand. “I´m Sam, Matthew´s brother.”

Reid had no idea who Matthew was but it didn´t feel important. “Reid.” Sam had a nice, firm grip and really soft hands and he held on to Reid´s just a little too long, which made Reid smile. This evening seemed to turn out much better than he had expected.

 

Luke usually didn´t go to a lot of parties, mostly because he didn´t wanted to get tempted to drink alcohol. Since his kidney infection two years ago he had been apprehensive when it came to drinking, even though his doctor had said that small amounts didn´t hurt, but Luke figured it was unnecessary to risk anything. He and his friends always did a lot of other things that didn´t involve drinking and Luke had never really missed it. He had never felt the urge to go to any of the stupid parties the jocks and the other popular people at school always talked about, he and his friends would have been welcomed but they never felt like they wanted to. He understood why tonight.

Roth had insisted that they follow his friends to some guy from school, but they had gone out to grab a burger first. When they finally arrived the place was packed with people, most of them completely drunk, and everything Luke had imagined would happen at parties seemed to be true. A couple of girls Luke recognized from school were playing what Luke could only assume was strip poker since they were half-naked while the guys they played with had most of their clothes on. The girls didn´t seem too upset about that though, since they were giggling and showing off much more than Luke ever wanted to see.

He turned his gaze towards the sofa where one guy had passed out and another one was smearing lipstick all over his face and Luke really didn´t see the fun in that. He turned towards Roth to ask if they really had to stay, when his eyes landed on a very familiar face.

“Katie!” He squeezed Roth´s arm before walking over to his friend and giving her a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“Luke!” Katie giggled and wrapped her arms around him. “I could ask you the same thing.” She pulled back and pressed her lips against his cheek in a quick but wet kiss. “Reid will be so happy to see you.”

Luke took a step back. “Reid´s here?”

Katie´s face fell a little and Luke guessed she just realized that Reid might not be happy to see Luke at all. “Yes, I kinda dragged him over here.” She looked around the room. “But I haven´t seen him in a while so he might have left. Anyway, it´s good to see you, Luke. I´ve missed you.”

“I´ve missed you too, Katie.” He suddenly realized what a terrible friend he´d been the last few weeks, completely ignoring his friends in favor of Roth. He decided to make up for that, starting immediately. “I know I´ve been a bad friend lately and I´m really sorry, but I think I need to say that to Reid first, and if he´s here, there´s a chance he might talk to me.” He gave Katie another quick hug. “I hope you don´t mind if I try to find him?”

“Of course not. Work it out with him and come over and hang out again soon.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “I know he´s missed you too, even if he´s never going to admit it.”

Luke had no idea where to look for Reid. The house was huge and there were people everywhere. He checked every room downstairs and decided not to go through all the rooms upstairs when he accidentally walked in on a couple having sex in one of them. Reid had most likely gone home already, Luke couldn´t imagine him enjoying himself amongst all these drunk people, so he might just as well give up and continue calling him tomorrow. When he came back down he couldn´t find Roth either and decided to go outside to get some fresh air.

Roth was outside, talking to a few people Luke didn´t recognize, and he didn´t feel like joining them. Instead he walked out into the garden and hoped that Roth would be done soon so they could go home. If that made him boring, so be it, but parties weren´t his thing. And that´s when he saw Reid.

He wasn´t sure if it was him at first, because it was dark and this guy was laughing and talking. Luke was used to Reid doing both with him, Katie and Casey, but he was usually much more reserved when they were around other people. But he recognized Reid´s laugh and the way he held his body so he took a few steps forward in hope that Reid would see him and they could talk. At the same moment a guy, who Luke had never seen before and hadn´t paid any attention to, leaned forward and pulled Reid in for a kiss. He froze mid step.

Luke instinctively expected Reid to push him away or pull back—he didn´t expect him to grab the other guy’s hips and deepen the kiss. He suddenly realized that through all the years he and Reid had been friends he had never seen him actually kiss another guy. He had known about a few guys in Reid´s life but for some reason they never talked about it, and what he did know was stuff Katie had told him and then it hadn´t felt important or even real. This, however, felt very real and Luke was surprised at how angry it made him.

Before he knew what was happening he found himself walking up to Reid, grabbing his arm and dragging him off the other guy.

“What the fuck… Luke?” Reid´s voice turned from pissed off to surprised when he saw who it was. “What are you doing?”

Luke thought it was fairly obvious what he was doing and not worth answering. “Never mind that, what the hell are you doing, Reid?”

“What does it look like?” The surprised tone was gone and Reid was back to sounding pissed off. Good, then he knew how Luke felt.

“Reid?” The other guy, who Luke had almost forgotten about, placed a tentative hand on Reid´s arm.

Reid turned his gaze from the other guy to Luke and then back again. “I´m sorry, but I´ll have to deal with this.”

“Is he your boyfriend or something?” the other guy asked with a frown.

“What?” Reid snorted. “No, of course not, he´s just a friend. I´ll see you later, Sam. Okay?”

“Sure,” Sam answered reluctantly and finally left with one last lingering look at Reid.

Reid turned back to Luke again and glared at him. “What the hell is your problem, Luke?”

“You´re asking me that?” Luke huffed disbelievingly. “I´ll tell you what my problem is. I´ve been trying to talk to you all week but you´ve just ignored me and now I find you making out with some random asshole.”

“So?”

Luke let out a shaky breath. “What do you mean, so?”

“I fail to see how it’s any of your concern who I choose to kiss.” Luke had always admired Reid´s ability to stay calm no matter how upset he was. Now, he hated it. He wanted Reid to yell at him so he could yell back.

“You´re such an idiot. I can´t believe I´ve been friends with you all these years.”

Reid opened his mouth to say something but shook his head and closed it again. He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It hurts, doesn´t it?”

“What?”

“To be ignored in favor of someone else.” Before Luke could answer, Reid continued. “Tell me one thing though, what makes you the most angry, that I didn´t answer your calls or the fact that I was kissing someone else?”

“I don´t give a shit who you´re fucking, Reid. Don´t flatter yourself.”

Reid smiled and shook his head. “That´s what I thought.” And with that he turned around and started to walk away. Luke started to follow him when he caught sight of Roth standing there staring at them, looking anything but happy.

“Roth, I…”

“Don´t bother, Luke. I heard everything.”

“We were just talking,” Luke said defensively.

“You´re still in love with him aren´t you?”

“Christ, why does everyone assume I´m in love with Reid. We´re just friends!” Luke couldn´t believe he had to go over all this once again.

“Because you are, Luke!” Roth took a deep breath. “Why else would you get jealous of him kissing someone else?”

“I´m not jealous, I´m just…” He trailed off because he had no idea why he got so upset seeing Reid with Sam, but it couldn´t be jealousy, could it?

“You don´t even know do you?” Roth huffed and shook his head. “I can´t do this anymore, Luke. It´s obvious that you feel something for him and it´s not only friendship. Until you´ve sorted that out I think it´s better if we don´t see each other.”

“Roth, I…” Luke watched another guy walk out on him for the second time in less than 10 minutes and he had no idea what to do about it.

 

Reid didn´t see Sam again after that night. It wasn´t a big deal though, sure, the guy had been hot and he could hold a conversation just fine, which in itself was a rare trait, but it wasn´t as if Reid had been interested in anything more than a temporary thing. So he went home alone that night, well almost alone, Katie had made an annoying habit of staying over a few nights a week ever since he and Luke stopped talking to each other. Reid would never admit it, but it was kinda nice to have her around, as long as she wasn´t pestering him with questions about Luke. Seriously, she should know by now that Reid didn´t talk about his feelings, ever. Sadly it didn´t stop her from trying. 

So instead of hanging out with Luke he spent most of his free time with Katie, and occasionally with Casey, but Casey had always been Luke´s friend foremost just the same as Katie was Reid´s. Most of his time though, he spent at the hospital. He worked in the lab where he analyzed tests and organized the whole procedure and made sure that the right doctor got the results he or she needed as fast as possible. It wasn´t a job he wanted to have in the future, Reid had much bigger plans than working in a lab, but just being at the hospital made him feel better. He imagined it felt like how coming home should feel like. He usually stayed much longer than he was scheduled to, but he liked hanging around there, listening to the doctors around him discussing cases, and he couldn´t wait until he was one of them.

Reid had known his whole life that he wanted to become a neurosurgeon, brains fascinated him, it might look like this useless gray mass of spaghetti, but there was so much going on inside. Besides, he knew he wasn´t much of a people-person and the less he had to interact with people, the better.

The chief of staff had been a bit surprised when he came begging for a summer job. Most guys Reid´s age didn´t want to spend the whole summer working, but Reid needed the money now that he had his own place. Besides, Reid might still be considered a teenager but surely that didn´t mean he actually had to act like one?

He had just gotten home from the hospital and stood staring into the fridge trying to decide what kind of sandwich he was going to make to eat while watching the game, he had three different kinds of meat, should he put all of them on or just one of them, when someone knocked on the door.

He sighed heavily, closed the fridge with one last lingering look at the ham, and walked over to open the door, already knowing who was outside.

“Katie,” he said in a firm voice that would make teachers all around the world envious, “I thought I told you to leave me alone tonight. Don´t you have any other friends to stalk?”

Sadly the voice did nothing on Katie, she just smiled and reached into her bag and pulled up a bottle. “I have tequila.”

Reid raised an eyebrow but took a step back and pulled the door wide open for her. “Well, in that case, come on in.”

Two hours and half a bottle later, Reid was drunk. Not drunk as in I-might-have-had-one-beer-too-many but completely smashed.

“Katie, you´re such a bad influence,” he said to the girl lying on the floor beside him, slightly surprised by how little he slurred. “Where did you get this from anyway?” 

Katie ignored the question and rolled closer and rested her head on his stomach. “Did you know that I was in love with you for years when we were younger?”

Reid had to replay the question in his head a few times to be sure he´d actually heard right. Deciding that he probably did, he came to the conclusion that there was no good way to answer that so he might as well be honest. “Yes.”

“You did?” Katie made an attempt to sit up so she could look at him, but her limbs didn´t seem to cooperate so eventually she gave up and lay down again. “You never said anything.”

Reid tried to shrug. “I figured there wasn´t anything I could do about it, so why talk about it?”

“I guess you´re right.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, that´s not what I wanted to talk about. I just brought it up because I spent a lot of time watching you during that time. And long before I knew you were gay I knew you would never love me back. You didn´t look at me that way, not like the way you looked at Luke.”

Reid sighed. “Don´t start with that.”

“When you told us you were gay it was like everything fell into place and I just waited for you two to get together, but you never did. And I´m not sure if neither of you realized it because you spent so much time together or if you just didn´t want to ruin your friendship or something, but you´re still not together and you’ve never been less of friends than what you are now.” Katie took a deep breath. “Can you really look me in the eyes and tell me that you don´t want him?”

“I´m too drunk to look into anyone´s eyes at the moment.”

Katie snorted. “Don´t be an idiot. Answer me.”

“Katie…”

“Please, Reid, be honest with me. Otherwise I wasted a whole bottle of tequila for nothing.” When Reid didn´t say anything she continued. “Not to mention the terrible hangover I´ll have tomorrow. I´ll stay here all day and complain about how sick I feel.”

“Fine!” If his eyes weren´t closed he would have rolled them. ”Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I want him.” It felt weird saying it aloud since he hadn´t really admitted it to himself until after the party. He had suspected it when Luke started dating Roth and just the thought of the two of them together annoyed him, but he hadn´t wanted to admit that he was jealous. Every time his thoughts had trailed in that direction he had tried to convince himself that it was just because Luke was ignoring him as a friend.

“I knew it!” Katie made a high pitched sound that could probably shatter glass. “So what are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Katie asked incredulously, “What do you mean nothing?”

“There´s nothing I can do. I´m leaving for Harvard soon and he´s staying here with his boyfriend.”

“You know they´re not together anymore.”

“Maybe not for now, but as soon as I´m gone they´ll get back together again.”

“No they won´t,” Katie said firmly. “Luke loves you, Reid. Not Roth. And you´re both miserable without each other. Why can´t you see that?”

“It doesn´t matter what he feels, Katie,” Reid groaned and opened his eyes. The whole room was spinning and it made him nauseous. “I can´t give him what he wants anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“The whole relationship thing. It´s just not me.” Reid had decided a long time ago that relationships wasn´t for him, and the more guys he met the more certain he got that he would never be in one. What´s the point if you´re not interested in seeing the same guy more than once? He had told Luke that, but Luke always said that Reid hadn´t met the right guy yet and that everything would change when he did. Yeah right, not very likely.

Luke was definitely a relationship kind of guy. He probably believed in soul mates and love at first sight and every other ridiculous thing there was, even if he would never tell Reid about it, because he knew he would tease him. If Katie were right and Luke actually was interested in him, and the thought made weird things flutter in his stomach, then Luke would want a relationship. He would expect Reid to be this loving, considerate boyfriend who held his hand and told him how pretty he was every day, and Reid wasn’t sure he could do that. Not even for Luke.

Katie interrupted his thoughts. “How do you know if you haven´t actually tried it?”

“He would expect things from me, like… well, I don´t know, I just know it´s not my thing, okay?”

“You sound like a five year old,” Katie mused. “Listen, Luke loves you for who you are, gigantic ego and everything. And he wouldn´t want you to change if that´s what you´re worried about.”

“Of course he wouldn´t want me to change, I´m perfect.”

Katie laughed, “Like I said, gigantic ego.”

“Whatever. Can we please move over to the bed now, I don´t want to sleep on the floor.”

 

Reid woke up early, feeling much better than he had expected. He only had a mild headache and no nausea at all, for which he supposed he could thank the Advils and the large glasses of water he drank before falling asleep. Or he could, you know, still be drunk.

He climbed over Katie, who only mumbled something incoherent and rolled over, and headed for the bathroom to take a shower before making something to eat. The hot water washed away the remaining headache and he stood there for a long time with his eyes closed. He wondered if Luke was still sleeping, which he probably was, Luke had never been a morning person. He contemplated if maybe he should call him later. He missed talking to him and they usually saw each other every day, it was hard to get used to being without him. It was even harder to picture a whole life without him. Maybe Katie was right and the whole relationship thing wasn´t so bad. There would probably be regular kissing and sex, which definitely wasn´t something he would complain about, and it might even make the hand-holding worth it. And Luke was funny and smart and caring, and really, really hot and… he already had a boyfriend. Even if they weren´t together right now, Reid was sure they would get back together again as soon as he left. He wouldn´t call Luke, it didn´t matter what Katie said, there wasn´t any point in doing so. 

He turned off the shower, grabbed a towel and quickly dried off before wrapping it around his hips. He really needed something to eat and hopefully Katie was awake so she could make something.

Katie sat up in the bed, her long hair sleep tousled, and when she saw Reid she let out a whistle. “I wouldn´t mind waking up to this sight every morning. You sure you´re not up for some man-to-man action this morning?” 

Reid raised an eyebrow. “And I always thought you were a girl?”

“Well, you won´t sleep with me if I am, right?”

“Katie, you´re gayer than I´ll ever be.”

 

It had been three weeks since the party and Luke was feeling miserable. His parents kept telling him he had to make up his mind about college but he had no idea which he should choose. He had gotten accepted to a few good schools he had applied to and one he didn´t even remember sending in his application to. It had a really good writing program though and was situated in Boston, and Casey had told him that Reid was leaving for Boston any day now to check out Harvard and where to live. He had a hard time picturing Reid in a dorm, maybe if he picked the school in Boston he and Reid could… His thoughts trailed off and he realized what a stupid idea that was.

He hadn´t talked to Reid at all since the party and just briefly with Roth. It was disturbing how little he missed Roth compared to Reid and he knew he should be thinking about that, but every time he tried to sort out how he felt about Reid he saw him kissing that Sam-guy again and got too pissed off to think about anything. He had no idea why the image made him so upset, or why he kept replaying it in his head all the damn time. In any case there wasn´t any room left in his head for choosing which college he wanted to go to. And Casey sure as hell wasn´t any help.

“Dude, stop being so friggin´ pathetic and just call him already.” Casey tossed the Xbox control on the floor, probably tired of once again beating Luke without a problem for the fiftieth time in a row.

Luke figured it was pointless to pretend he didn´t know who Casey meant, after all they´d been having the same discussion for over an hour now. “I don´t want to talk to Reid,” he answered petulantly. Which was a lie of course because he really did want to talk to him, he just didn´t know what to say. And he definitely didn´t want to hear anything about Reid´s new boyfriend.

“Can you at least admit that you feel something for him that isn´t only friendship?” Casey clearly didn´t know when to give up.

Luke opened his mouth to deny it but thought better of it and closed it again. “I don´t know. Maybe.”

They were silent for a while before Casey said, almost casually, “You know, he´s not dating that guy if that´s what you´re worried about.”

“He´s not?” Luke tried not to think about how relieved that made him.

“No, according to Katie he wasn’t interested, which leaves the door wide open for you to try.” Casey raised his eyebrows suggestively and Luke sighed.

“Jesus, Casey. He´s my best friend. What if you´re wrong about this and he´s not interested in me at all?”

“So that´s the real problem? You´re afraid you´ll make a move and he´ll turn you down?” Casey sounded like he was on the verge of breaking out in laughter and Luke glared at him. “Sometimes you have to take a chance, Luke.”

“I know! It´s just… We´ve been friends practically my whole life, I don´t want to lose that friendship over something I´m not sure of.”

“Look, just kiss him or something. Maybe that can help you realize how you feel.” Casey sounded as tired as Luke felt.

“I´ve already tried that,” Luke mumbled.

“You have?” Casey questioned disbelievingly. “When?”

“About three years ago, when I wasn´t sure whether I was gay or not. Reid helped me figure things out.”

“By sticking his tongue down your throat?” Casey smirked.

“It wasn´t like that, Casey!” Luke rolled his eyes. “I asked him to kiss me to see how it felt. And he did.”

“Dude, let me get this straight. Three years ago you kissed Reid and liked it so much that you decided you were gay. How can you not see that you´re in love with him?” Before Luke had a chance to object, Casey continued. “Wait, let me rephrase that: close your eyes and think back on that day and tell me you don´t want to kiss him again.”

Luke sighed but did as Casey told him. He remembered every single detail of that warm summer day when he was fifteen years old. It hadn´t rained in weeks and the heat was almost unbearable. He had somehow managed to convince Reid to take a swim with him in the pond to cool off and they had stayed in for hours. When the sun had started to settle and the temperature had dropped to a more bearable degree they had laid down side by side on their towels and rested in companionable silence.

“Reid?” He turned towards his best friend and rested his head in his hand.

“Mmph?”

“How did you know you were gay?” It was the first time Luke had mentioned it since the day Reid had told him he was gay. It hadn´t seemed like a big deal, Reid was still his best friend, nothing would ever change that.

Reid shrugged but didn´t open his eyes. “I´ve always known.”

“Yeah, but how? I mean, did you fall in love with someone?”

“Luke, I was nine years old when I figured it out. Of course I wasn´t in love with someone.”

“But how did you know?”

Reid sighed and opened his eyes. “Why do you ask?”

“Sally Henderson kissed me yesterday,” Luke blurted out and felt heat coloring his cheeks. “She used tongue.”

“Oh.” Reid raised an eyebrow. “And?”

“It was nice but…” He took a deep breath. “I didn´t really like it.”

They stared at each other in silence until Reid´s eyes filled with understanding.

“Just because you don´t like kissing a girl it doesn´t necessarily mean you´re gay, Luke. Maybe it´s just her you don´t like.”

“It´s not just that. I´ve…” He trailed off. “I´ve been thinking about it a lot lately.”

Reid didn´t say anything and Luke averted his gaze and looked out over the pond instead. He wasn´t sure how best to say what he had been thinking about, and he was afraid Reid would laugh at him or tell him to fuck off.

“That´s why I let Sally kiss me,” he finally continued. “To see if I liked it. And if I didn´t, I thought I could maybe, you know, kiss-a-guy.” The last words were said in such a rush that he wasn´t sure if Reid actually understood him, but he prayed to god he would because there was no way he could say it again.

“Sure, that´s a good idea I guess.”

“What? Did you not hear what I said?” Luke asked incredulously because that wasn’t the answer he´d been expecting.

“Dude, I´m gay. It´s not like it would freak me out or anything.” Luke didn´t see it but he could swear that Reid was rolling his eyes at him.

“You´re sure?”

“Absolutely. It´s not a bad idea to see what you like.”

“So, you´ll help me?”

“Sure.”

“Okay.” Luke finally dared to look at Reid again, who was once again lying with his eyes closed. “So, you´ll kiss me then?”

Reid´s eyes darted open. “What?”

“It´s not like I´m going to ask Casey and I don´t know any other gay guys.” Reid opened his mouth and Luke was sure he was going to object. “Please, Reid, you´re my best friend.”

“I don´t know, Luke.” He sat up and rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. “Wouldn´t it be weird?”

“Not if we don´t make it weird.” Luke sat up too and turned towards Reid. “Please? Just think of it as doing me a huge favor.”

“I don´t know, I still think it´s a bad idea.”

“Please, Reid? Please, please, please…”

“Fine, I´ll do it!” Reid said and sighed heavily, but Luke could see that he tried to hold back a smile. “As long as you don´t do that begging thing.”

Before Luke could answer, Reid leaned in and pressed his mouth against his. His lips were a little dry but surprisingly soft and Luke had just closed his eyes when Reid pulled back.

His eyes snapped open again and he glared disapprovingly at Reid. “Hey, that wasn´t a real kiss. I´m not your grandmother!” Sure it had felt nice, but no different from kissing Sally. Maybe he wasn´t gay after all.

“You mean with tongue?”

Luke nodded.

Reid bit his bottom lip thoughtfully and pushed his fingers through his damp hair, messing up the curls even more before he shrugged and leaned in again. Just before their lips met he stopped and mumbled, “For the record, I would never kiss my grandmother,” and Luke huffed out a laugh which meant that his mouth was open when their lips met again. Reid seemed to hesitate for a second before opening his mouth and trailing his tongue along Luke´s lips and Luke suddenly didn´t feel like laughing anymore. He tentatively slipped his own tongue out and hissed when it met Reid´s, the sensation nothing like how it felt to kiss Sally, and he wanted more. Their noses bumped awkwardly before he tilted his head slightly and suddenly everything seemed to fit. He put his hands on Reid´s shoulders and pulled him closer, wanting to feel more, taste more.

Their tongues tangled and slid together and when Reid bit down on his bottom lip and sucked gently Luke couldn´t hold back a groan. Reid tasted so good, it was messy and wet and the best thing he´d ever felt. Reid had one hand tangled in his hair and the other on his back, fingers stroking along his spine, and Luke never wanted it to end.

When Reid finally pulled back his lips were red and swollen, his face flushed and for the first time in years Luke couldn´t decipher the look in his eyes.

“Wow,” Luke finally managed to say when the silence became too much, and he was surprised by how rough his voice sounded.

“Yeah.” Reid cleared his throat and dropped his gaze and when he looked back up he wore his usual smirk. “So, did it help?”

“Yes,“ Luke swallowed and shifted his legs a little, hoping that his best friend wouldn´t see his inappropriate and most unwanted erection. “It really did.”

Reid turned around and lay down on his stomach. “Glad to be of service.”

 

They never talked about it again and Luke had somehow convinced himself that it hadn´t happened, because it wasn´t right to get turned on by his best friend. A few days later Reid had been gone. He’d stayed away the rest of the summer and Luke had been too busy being mad at him to realize that he had fallen in love with him. There had been moments after that, when Reid had done or said something special and Luke´s heart had beaten a little faster. He had never acknowledged it for what it really was, instead he had told himself that what he felt was nothing more than friendship. He had even managed to convince himself that he wasn´t jealous when he saw Reid kissing Sam, which was quite an achievement considering how upset he’d been, and still was, to be honest.

He was an idiot.

He turned to his friend and gripped his shoulders. “Casey, I´m in love with Reid, I am.”

“Wow!” Casey rolled his eyes and laughed. “I never thought you’d actually admit it.”

“I have to talk to him now.” Luke suddenly felt his heart sink. “Oh god, please tell me he hasn´t left for Boston yet?”

“Not until tomorrow,” Casey reassured. “He´s probably still at the hospital.”

“Thank you, man, I owe you!” Luke gave his friend a quick hug before rushing out to his car and driving over to Memorial.

 

Luke walked the familiar corridors of Memorial. Reid had been working at the lab the whole summer but Luke had never taken the time to actually come and see him. Mostly because he´d been too busy spending time with Roth and now he regretted it. Even if Reid wasn´t interested in him that way, no matter what Casey and Katie said, he was still his best friend and Luke could only hope he hadn´t lost his friendship too. He couldn´t believe he had been so stupid all this time. How could he not have seen how much Reid meant to him?

Reid was standing next to the nurses´ station, writing something down on what looked like a clipboard, looking exactly like a proper doctor. A bit young maybe, but still. He was so beautiful and everything Luke never knew he wanted but all he could ever hope to have.

“Reid!”

“Luke,“ Reid looked up with a surprised expression on his face, “What are you doing here?”

“Can we talk? Somewhere private, I mean.”

Reid raised an eyebrow and shrugged. “Sure.” He walked towards an empty on call room, motioned for Luke to follow him, and closed the door behind them. “What do you want, Luke?” He didn´t sound upset or angry, just resigned, and Luke wasn´t sure if that was good or bad.

“I have to tell you something, and I hope to god I´m not too late, but even if I am I don´t want you to leave before I have a chance to say this.” Luke took a deep breath and looked into the beautiful blue eyes of the man in front of him, once again wondering how he could have been so blind all these years. “I love you, Reid. I´ve been in love with you practically my whole life and I don´t want to waste another minute without you.”

Reid just stared at him and for every second that passed, Luke got more and more nervous. What if Casey was wrong and Reid didn´t love him back?

“Reid? Can you please say something?”

“I´m not sure I know what you want me to say. This was… unexpected.”

Luke felt his cheeks heat. Obviously they´d been wrong and Reid wasn´t interested in him at all. “God, this is so embarrassing.” He laughed awkwardly and rubbed one hand down his neck. “Forget I said something okay?” He took a few steps towards the door when Reid spoke again.

“Luke, wait.”

He turned back and felt hope rushing through him. “Yes?”

“I didn´t mean it was bad, just, you know, unexpected.”

“But not bad?” Luke concentrated on the most promising part.

“Definitely not bad.”

“And not unwanted?” Luke held his breath.

Reid shook his head while tentatively taking one of Luke´s hands and weaving their fingers together. “Definitely not unwanted.”

Luke sighed with relief, he would have to be Casey´s personal slave or something for the next few weeks, he owed him so much for opening his eyes.

“Well, that´s good to know.” Luke smiled and pushed his free hand down his pockets while rocking back on his heels. “You know, you could tell me you love me back any time.”

“I guess I could. But I´m not sure your ego can handle that. It might blow up.”

“Shut up, Reid.” They both laughed and Luke didn´t know if he´d ever been this happy before. He reached out and put one hand on Reid´s cheek. “You´re the first guy I ever kissed, Reid, and I want you to be the last.”

“Christ, Luke, that´s got to be the cheesiest thing you´ve ever said.” But Reid smiled and finally, finally leaned in and kissed him. It was even better than Luke remembered. Maybe because now he was free to touch and hold and kiss back as much as he wanted. He hoped that Reid didn´t have to work much longer, because Luke didn´t plan to stop kissing him anytime soon.

 

Thankfully Reid´s shift was over, so they left as soon as they could and headed back to Reid´s almost empty apartment. Luke supposed it should feel weird and awkward but for some reason it didn´t. Reid was the reason it never felt right to do this with Roth, because deep down inside, Luke had known he loved Reid and wanted him to be his first.

And he really loved Reid, more than he ever thought it was possible to love someone, and he´d known him practically his whole life, so there shouldn´t be anything to be embarrassed or nervous about. There was one thing he was worried about though.

“You know I´ve never done this before, right?” he said between kisses. “Don´t be disappointed if I don´t measure up to what you´re normally used to.” He couldn´t help it, there was still a part of him that hated the thought of another guy´s hands and lips on Reid´s body and he wished that he could have been Reid´s first too. He didn´t care if it was petty or childish, he wanted Reid to be his and only his.

Reid pulled back and rested his forehead against Luke´s while his left thumb rubbed the sensitive spot right behind Luke´s ear.

“Luke,“ he said, in a voice so soft and loving that Luke instantly relaxed. “I never wanted anyone as much as I want you. There´s no way you could ever disappoint me.”

“How do you always know the right thing to say?”

“Because I´m a genius, you know that.” There was amusement in his voice and Luke couldn´t help but smile too.

“Shut up, Reid.”

Their lips met again and this time there was no hesitation or shyness. Luke gave everything he had, he licked the inside of Reid´s mouth and he couldn´t get enough of the taste. Reid´s hands tugged at the hem of his t-shirt and their lips parted long enough to pull the garment over his head to land somewhere on the floor. Reid was wearing his usual shirt and jeans combination, and even though he looked good in it, Luke wished he could have been wearing something easier to take off. His fingers trembled when he tried to unbutton Reid’s shirt, and it took him longer than he would have wanted to finally get it off. He had seen Reid shirtless a million times before, but this time it was different. Now he was allowed to look and touch and taste as much as he wanted, and he couldn´t get enough.

Reid´s mouth was warm and wet and Luke desperately wanted to feel it all over his body.

Their bodies were pressed together, Luke felt the hardness of Reid´s erection against his own and pushed his hips forward, moaning at the friction, but needing more. There were still too many clothes in the way. He reached down and popped the button on Reid´s jeans, unzipped them and pushed the denim off his slender hips, relieved when Reid did the same to his.

Reid pushed him forward until they toppled over onto the bed with Reid on top, and the welcome weight of Reid´s body pressed him into the sheets, while he tangled their legs together. Reid´s mouth was on his neck, licking and sucking at his pulse point, and Luke moaned and pushed his hips up. They were grinding together and Luke was clinging to his lower back while sliding his legs up to Reid´s hips. But it still wasn’t enough.

He pushed one hand down and squeezed Reid´s ass before tugging at his boxer briefs. “Off,” he mumbled while mouthing the shell of Reid´s ear.

Reid pulled back and rested his weight on his arms, his eyes glazed over with want. “You sure about this?”

“I want you, Reid,” Luke answered and licked his lips nervously. “Just… How are we going to do this?” He felt himself flush and was surprised to realize that there was enough blood in his body to both color his face red and maintain his erection. “I mean, who´s going to be, you know, on top?”

Reid leaned in and pressed his mouth against Luke´s in a soft, almost chaste kiss. “Luke, we have all the time in the world, there´s no need to rush things.”

Luke cupped Reid´s neck and pulled him forward so their foreheads rested together. “I love you. So much. And I´m sure this is what I want.” He couldn´t help it, he was still nervous. But the thought of not going all the way with Reid tonight was more unsettling than not doing it. He wanted this.

Reid watched him with a pensive expression before kissing him again, all tongue and teeth, and Luke arched up against him, the pressure of Reid´s dick against his own almost enough to get him off. He could only imagine how good it would feel without their underwear in the way. Then Reid pulled back and Luke couldn´t hold back a needy whimper. “Where are you going?”

“Relax, Luke,” Reid said with a smile, “I´m only doing what you told me to.” He sat back and removed his boxers and—wow. It had been a few years since the last time Luke saw him naked, and things had definitely changed since they were kids.

Luke removed his own boxers and reached for Reid, who flipped them over so Luke was on top and went back to kissing him. Luke was pleased to discover that he was definitely right about this feeling better whilst naked.

Reid´s long fingers wandered across his hips before sliding into the cleft of his ass and brushing over the entrance to his body. Luke´s breath hitched and he jerked against him like he was being burned, and then pushed back against Reid´s circling finger with a shaky moan that he tried to bury in Reid’s neck.

Reid snickered and rocked his hips against him and their cocks slid together, precome and sweat creating a wonderful slick feeling between them. Luke realized that there was no way he was going to be able to hold back now, even if he wasn’t sure if this was technically sex.

He ground his hips down faster and harder, feeling the heat coil in his stomach and his balls, he was so close when Reid´s lips slid along his ear, and when Reid whispered, “Our first time, I want you inside of me,” Luke came all over their stomachs imagining how sliding into Reid for the first time would feel.

“Jesus Luke,” Reid said breathlessly. “You´re so hot.”

Luke was completely relaxed in the aftermath and could probably fall asleep any second, but the feel of Reid´s erection pressing into his thigh got him moving. He rolled off to the side and reached down into the sticky mess and took hold of Reid´s dick. He ran his thumb over the head before building up a steady, confident rhythm, and it didn´t take long until Reid groaned and came over his hand.

Luke watched him ride out his orgasm and his dick twitched painfully—way too sensitive. He might be only 18 but he was not getting it up again that soon, regardless of what his brain was telling him. He pressed his lips against Reid´s collarbone, closed his eyes and fell asleep in seconds.

 

Luke woke up to the feeling of fingers carding through his hair. It took him a few seconds to remember where he was and what he was doing there.

“Hey sleepyhead.” Reid´s voice was teasing but softer than Luke had ever heard it before. “I didn´t know you were that type.”

Luke yawned and buried his face in Reid´s neck. “What type?”

“The type that passes out after sex.”

“I didn´t pass out!”

“Yes, you did. I´ve been up getting a towel to clean you up with and you slept right through it.”

Luke pulled back the covers and inspected his stomach and it was indeed clean. He wasn´t sure if he should be embarrassed or not. “Technically we didn´t have sex.”

The sudden change of subject made Reid raise his eyebrows questioningly.

“I´m still, you know, a virgin,” Luke continued, suddenly finding a loose thread on the covers immensely interesting.

“You´re right,” Reid answered in his most serious tone. “What do you suggest we do about that?”

“Did you mean what you said, about wanting me too…?” He trailed his fingers along Reid´s spine and over his ass until they rested in the cleft of his ass.

Reid´s breathing sped up and he pressed back against Luke´s fingers. “Yes.”

The thought of being inside Reid made his dick grow hard again in an instant, and he leaned forward and captured Reid´s lips in a wet and messy kiss.

“Can we please have sex now?” Luke panted and traced the shell of Reid´s ear with his tongue.

“Christ, you´re impatient.” Reid turned his head and captured Luke´s bottom lip between his teeth and bit it softly. “You sure you want to do this now? I mean, it´s not the most romantic setting here without the soft music and candlelight or whatever it was you said you wanted.” Reid´s voice was neutral but Luke knew him well enough to realize that Reid was actually nervous. The thought made him love Reid even more, which really shouldn´t be possible.

“Honestly Reid, the only thing I need is a bed and some privacy.” He pressed his lips softly against Reid´s and nuzzled his chin with his nose before leaning back to catch Reid´s gaze again. “And you of course. It´s always been you.”

 

The End.


End file.
